Xanax For Sale

I got a very naughty phone call late last night, but it led to very sweet dreams...

Ever have a conversation and wonder why that had to happen at all? "We have to talk" turned into nothing, and here I thought it was a done deal. All the misunderstood comments, irritable ranting, uncomfortable silences, and forced wait period amounted to something that could have been dealt with a mere conversation at the time of incident. Yes, it was I who was at fault with my irrational outbursts and cranky-pants mood that seeped out. But it wasn't that he was upset; it was the way he was upset. A silent, detached type of move that was cold and hurt more than any angry words could. I was told that I should have known better, or it was assumed that I would have known. Perhaps, but in any human interaction, where the most minor issues get convoluted and mired in feelings and emotions, is there any room for assumption? I'm a talker; always have been. Not chatty by any means, but 2+2=4, and I'm going to work it out on the board. Things ought to be resolved. There shouldn't be any room for misunderstanding. That's just too damn imperfect. It does put things into perspective, though. I am often too guarded to mix boys into other aspects of my life. Yes, I'll introduce them to my family because they're insane and it's just funny to watch. But I've always been very wary of introducing them to close friends or colleagues. I don't have an explanation for this, besides the need to compartmentalize things. But this unintentional double-life I lead makes me wonder if I'm acting differently around certain folks. Fess up, you know we all act differently around certain persons, but is there some spark in me that a boy won't see knowing that I am at times a bit more gregarious with the gals? Will my colleagues think I've lost my wits when they see me have a feeling for the first time ever? Will the humor of my irreverant remarks and the beauty of my snide comments be lost when I try to carry them over to the boy's world? Should it surprise any of us that we don't know each other at all?

Dear friend E, the sexiest single dad in America, used his wily ways on the babysitter and earned himself a one-night pass to watch the games and drink with the boys (A & W) and myself. I made the trek out to Heathrow where we noshed a bit at Stonewood. The Heathrow ladies were in full force, sipping their rainbow-colored martinis held by their impeccable manicures and their do's were perfectly bleached and set. My annual income is equivalent to what these gals spend on beauty products. And to think, I was drinking house merlot... for shame! The gambler in E was soon fed up by the tv's broadcasting figure skating, so we migrated over to the Altamonte Ale House for some quality testosterone-induced scorekeeping. The scene at the Ale House was a bit mixed: your usual 20-somethings with too much makeup on for cheap beer, 'business men' dressed in shirts and jackets despite it being a Saturday evening, and your scary 40-somethings looking to score. We scored ourselves some cheeseburgers instead, and E ended up winning a whole $3 overall. E was charmingly trashed on jack & cokes, and I made the mistake of drinking Corona's after wine (ouch). The rest of the gang headed downtown, but E and I retired early to our respective pads like the sad adults that we've become. I dropped him off just in time to catch the babysitter watching soft-core porn in his bedchambers - lucky guy! Now if we could only get him a weekend pass...

These are so annoying, but this one made me snork:
Which John Cusack Are You?

Some more astrological nonsense from my birth chart (note- give her gifts on September 8): Sun Square Neptune with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees: Your father was either over- idealized or he was rejected as a role model. Either way, your concept of what a man should be is not based upon a mortal person, but upon an ideal. This may lead to unrealistic expectations in close personal relationships. Over-idealized. Um, yeah, figured this one out already. Mercury Square Neptune with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees: Your imagination is so powerful that, if you don't have a strong creative or spiritual outlet, you may at times be over-influenced by your own fantasies or those of others. Beware of gullibility. In the long run, telling the truth is in your best interest. Just give me a sec to pull my foot out of my mouth... Venus Square Uranus with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees: You need to be close and you need to be free. This is a major life conflict which has always created complications for you in close personal relationships. One manifestation of this may be a tendency to pursue the unavailable or the unreliable. Ugh, again, I KNOW THIS! And the horoscope: "I've never seen you as close to snapping as you've come, on several occasions, in the last month. I'm sorry, Virgo. I think everyone assumes that since you're always so pragmatic and together, that you're somehow more immune to those breakdown-inducing stresses we all suffer from occasionally. We virtually expect Cancers to explode into nervous histrionics, but when a Virgo coughs up more than a few tears, we're too surprised to react appropriately. Instead of leaping to your aid, we sputter and gasp in amazement, doing you no good at all. So please forgive us, and when your rescuers swoop in, belatedly, this week, graciously accept their support and succor–it's better late than never." Vindicated!