Xanax For Sale

Some of you already know by now that I turned 30 last month. I wasn't overly worried about it, but not terribly ignorant of the fact, but I just let things flow like I always have (hey, it worked for 29 years). I celebrated with friends labor day weekend, a week earlier, because my family was coming into town on my real birthday weekend. Fake birthday celebration started off like every one should with a bunch of good friends and good food at Baraonda. Their prosciutto and arugula pizza is so good that it makes the word "good" sound like a paltry fart of a description. Afterwards, we hit The Highlander where I proceeded to get schooled in both Golden Tee and air hockey by boys. Then the highlight of the evening came when we went dancing at the Clermont Lounge. After looking at the gals at the Clermont, being 30 was going to be a fucking breeze. Last, but certainly not least, I got to end the night at everyone's favorite greasy spoon. For real birthday, my family rolled into town for a night in Atlanta followed by a couple of nights in a cabin up in Helen. We took my niece to the zoo for the first time. She was not impressed by much, but later caught sight of the pandas with my mom and was delighted. It was so great having them here, seeing the house, getting to walk to Sun In My Belly for brunch, hanging out with my sister and brother in law at our neighborhood bar, then sobering up with some Krystal ... I was over the moon. And of course we headed to Doraville and had some Korean bbq, which my very caucasian brother in law even loved! The cabin in Helen was so relaxing. It was definitely nice to have everyone together again. As if that wasn't enough, we repeated the awesomeness that is Oktoberfest in Helen with another cabin trip with friends (we celebrated fake birthday #29 with Oktoberfest last year). I've never had this much fun surrounding my birthday, and when I look around I just feel incredibly lucky and happy and yes, I get a little mushy inside. So that's what I've been doing instead of blogging - enjoying every minute that 30 has brought me and more. I think I may be just getting to the good stuff.

My trip to Orlando this past weekend was an especially fun one. My gorgeous, itsy-bitsy niece is now a bonafide 1-year old. She's walking running and babbling already. Included in her standard gifts of mostly clothes and toys were some baby tattoos and a string bikini from moi. They grow so fast - *sniff*. Brian also accompanied me (voluntarily!) and met the whole family. He got a very enthusiastic ten thumbs-up from them, especially little Jordin who thought he played very well with others. I even got to show him some old stomping grounds, where I went to college, and where I drank after classes to survive grad school. We also got to see Louis before he graduated and escaped from Orlando for good. There's something to be said about the feeling of "home" when you're completely ensconced in that familiar comfort. No pretenses, no expectations, but just the feeling of walking into a space where you can just be yourself. It was great to be back home, surrounded the most important people in my life.

Miss you, daddy.

Me and Mommy

I just found out that my "uncle" Bill committed suicide on January 7th. He wasn't a blood relative, but living overseas and being a military kid made them hard to come by. In all aspects, he was closer than any of my 'real' uncles ever could be. I remember being as young as four years old and running through his house, eating candy, and going to the old once-screen movie theater on the military compound in the Philippines. I remember looking up to his older kids and wanting to be like them. Our familes worked our way around the world and ending up in the same city in Florida. I remember holiday gatherings, taking his younger son to Lollapalooza, and babysitting his grandson. He was there for me when my father died, as well as there for me when I got married. And then I remember hearing about Aunt Cathy losing her long battle with cancer. I was already in Atlanta at the time, and sent condolences through my family still in Florida. I heard he had changed dramatically, obviously depressed by his loss. Mom hadn't been in touch with him, the yearly Christmas letter stopped arriving, and "I don't know" became the answer when we asked about him. There's always a sense of regret with someone's passing. I know this because it took me years to come to terms with my father's death. He was such a good friend to my parents and us, and I feel awful about losing touch with him during the last couple of years. I have no idea what he was going through. I can't imagine what it took for him to take his own life and leave his kids and grandchildren behind. All of those times I could have (should have) called have passed, and now I'll never get to tell him how much he was loved by us.