Starting with Me
January 25th, 2007 § 7 comments
I have a stupid habit of putting other people's needs before mine. Okay, maybe my therapist(s) wouldn't use the "stupid," but it's the root of a lot of problems right now. I overcommit myself to others, I exert too much energy doing things people don't appreciate, and I care way too much about things I shouldn't. I'm then mentally and physically exhausted from all that, and the cycle continues.
And I know it's not other people's fault - not at all. It has everything to do with me and my unrealistic expectations of people, my need to satiate others to make me happy, and still not being able to say "no" quite enough. The irony, of course, is that I always end up unhappy with the situation. Honestly, I'm just burned out trying to make everyone happy. Everybody wants something from me, whether it's time, a shoulder to lean on, do this, fix this... which I normally love doing for my friends and family, but I just feel like I've got nothing to give now. I'm torn in so many directions, and the constant expectations from people are draining.
Yeah, I think "stupid" fits the bill perfectly.
I totally and completely understand what you mean. Let me know if YOU need anything.
Eesh. Make that three of us. I’ve never considered therapy until I read the descriptions from your therapy sessions. This could just as easily have come from my blog and the points would all be just as valid. Nice new blog layout.
OK, now I am convinced that we are, in fact, internet twins. This could have come out of my mouth, word for word.
I’m going to practice now…no, no, no.
Love you, ma. We’re too alike, but you know this.
This is one way that you and I completely differ. I have no problem saying, “No.” Probably has to do with me hearing it all the time from women.
It’s okay to say “no.” Just like it’s okay to eat peanut butter from the jar (unless you are allergic), and to tell people you are fabulous.
Hey hon, this post has been on my mind for a while so I thought I would drop a note and say, I’m not asking for anything other than you to just BE my friend for a long time – I know that’s not a small request. You don’t have to give, I’ll do that, just tell me what it is you need (hug, shoulder, anything) anytime.