Xanax For Sale

I'm donating 12 inches of my hair to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths campaign, which aims to provide wigs to women chemotherapy patients who are unable to afford them.
I'm dedicating this to my Po Po (mommy's mom) and Aunt Barbara (daddy's sister) who both died from cancer.

Tonight I'm getting my hair chopped and donated. The fun part is that I have no idea what I'd like my hair to look like afterwards. Stay tuned for pics. After getting my hair cut I will inevitably start sobbing and will have many margaritas with a girl friend (boys don't understand). My freakish skin is apparently allergic to my new shampoo, hence the breaking out. The irony is that I liked my old shampoo better anyway. If Atlanta really does get covered in ice overnight, I'll still have to go to work (even if campus is closed). Does that mean I can show up in my pj's?

I just bought our umpteenth rug from IKEA today. I also ordered these for Heidi. We'll see who wins.

make haircut appointment. get back into crafting. call my dermatologist and figure out what freakish issue is going on with my skin this time. allow myself time to read. do my taxes. allow myself to do nothing all weekend. eat better. take calcium pills. all that crap. make therapy appointment. subscribe to a mindless girly magazine. feel okay about saying 'no' to last minute invites. show up for church. invite people over for dinner instead of going out. walk more. swim. i love swimming.

I have a stupid habit of putting other people's needs before mine. Okay, maybe my therapist(s) wouldn't use the "stupid," but it's the root of a lot of problems right now. I overcommit myself to others, I exert too much energy doing things people don't appreciate, and I care way too much about things I shouldn't. I'm then mentally and physically exhausted from all that, and the cycle continues. And I know it's not other people's fault - not at all. It has everything to do with me and my unrealistic expectations of people, my need to satiate others to make me happy, and still not being able to say "no" quite enough. The irony, of course, is that I always end up unhappy with the situation. Honestly, I'm just burned out trying to make everyone happy. Everybody wants something from me, whether it's time, a shoulder to lean on, do this, fix this... which I normally love doing for my friends and family, but I just feel like I've got nothing to give now. I'm torn in so many directions, and the constant expectations from people are draining. Yeah, I think "stupid" fits the bill perfectly.