Xanax For Sale

with a 40 lb. dog on my chest.

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So I've been trying out different soy-based fake meat products for the last couple of weeks.  Why?  Um, curiosity I guess.  Also, they have a much lower fat content than the genuine meat version.  But since I wouldn't normally eat frozen sausage patties or chicken nuggets on a regular basis, it doesn't really matter does it?

So here's the rundown on the soy-sage results:

• Boca Breakfast Patties - Um, yuck.  The taste was somewhat okay, but the texture was a big turn off.  Very granule-y and unappealing.  The smell seemed about right.  Looked okay.
• Morningstar Farms Veggie Breakfast Sausage Patties - Tasted okay.  Like a bland sausage, with a spicy aftertaste.  Doesn't smell like sausage, but looked okay and the texture wasn't as bad as the Boca patty.
• Publix Greenwise Veggie Sausage Patties - WINNER.  This generic Publix brand looked, smelled, and tasted like sausage.  The boy couldn't even tell the difference.  Great taste with enough spice.
• Morningstar Farms Breakfast Sandwich with Cheese - Good lord, this was a mistake.  The patty itself was okay (same Morningstar patty), but the frozen neon orange cheese and iced egg should have been a big "no" sign to myself.  The muffin part and patty were the only edible things, which is surprising since both the cheese and egg were real and not soy.

And, for shits and giggles, I figured I'd branch out a bit and experiment with fake chicken, so I tried the Morningstar Farms Buffalo Wings.  Yes, I know.  You can't actually have a fake chicken wing.  These are pretty much nuggets with a buffalo sauce taste and slightly red coloring.  The boy and I took a few bites and we both agreed:  it tastes like ALLIGATOR!  Okay, that might be weird if you're not from Florida, but alligator pretty much tastes like old chicken.  You can get gator bites at a lot of restaurants and bars, and apparently fake chicken also tastes like alligator.  The only problem with this is that there really isn't a "buffalo" taste to these things, so why bother?  I poured Frank's Hot Sauce on them and they were perfect.  But then again, anything with Frank's is better.

I also tried a few of Amy's Kitchen Organic products.  I give a big 2 thumbs up to the veggie lasagna, chili with cornbread, and mac n cheese, but a big no to the black bean burrito.

So there you have it.  I don't think I'll be venturing into the soy crumbles or strips because of the texture thing, but I've stocked up on those yummy Publix patties and Amy's products.  Hmm... I think we'll have steak tonight...

So you know how I was alll "I need to sleep and take care of myself more blah blah blah"?

Too late, apparently.  I'm sick.  It sucks.  But hey, I got about 11 hours of sleep yesterday.  Good, right?

Blech.

First tomato of the season.  Grew him from scratch.  Nevermind that I don't like tomatoes.